the long road ahead

As I mentioned a while back we had made the decision that we were going to have another baby in 2010. As the end of the year approached we started to get more serious about timing, and what our plans would be. I had joked with Gary that I wanted to adopt a little 4 year old boy so that Zach would have a permanent play mate since Rylee never wants anything to do with him while she is here. After some serious talk we actually began to consider the possibility of adoption. It has something that I have always wanted to do, but never really thought I would be in the right position for it.

I started to do some research on it in December. I realized that we would have some things working against us. I compiled all my research and found an recommended agency in Buffalo Grove, and contacted them. After weeks of phone tag, and then our vacation I was finally able to connect with the representative earlier this week.

The first issue I knew we would have would be our divorces. I was told that only more then 2 divorces was a problem. The second issue I was concerned with was the length of time we have been married. She told me that putting together our home study and dossier paperwork will take 6-7 months so we have to take our time doing this and then they can submit it to our country of choice after our one year anniversary.

After we get all of this done, we wait for the approval and then wait for a referral for a child. Once we receive a referral and we are interest we make our first trip for 5-6 days to meet the little one. If everything goes well and we want to accept the referral then we travel back home to wait for our court date to adopt. The whole process should take 18 months from yesterday when we submitted our application to the agency to bringing home our little man.

Yes, we submitted our application for a little boy 0-36 months from Russia. We picked this country because we felt the type of program they offered was best for our situation. Some countries have limitations of how many children can already be in the home, some give preference for no divorce, and the race of the child was a factor as well. Although Gary or I would have no problem with a different race of child, I was concerned about what that would mean for them as they grew up. I would not want them to feel pointed out if we were all in public and he did not look like his brother or sisters, Mom and Dad. Some people can be really ignorant and in my research on adopted children I did find some stories in which the children always felt like outsiders because they didn't "match" the rest of their family.

We are very very excited to have taken this first step. We still have a very long road ahead of us, and a lot of obstacles to get through. However, this journey will be that once in a lifetime experience that not many people can have. Gary is so excited about the idea of having a son that can carry on his name. Of course he considers Zach his own, but unfortunately Zach will not have our last name (unless of course he changes it himself when he is older as he keeps saying he wants to do).

Stay tuned for more, I am sure this will be a great source of stress and emotion in our life over the next 18 months. I just know it will be all worth it in the end!