So Rylee this weekend went on and on about Mommy's new friend "Mike" and how she went out to dinner with him and over to his house while we were on vacation. Gary asked her if this was mommy's friend "Michael" that used to come and visit her a while ago, and she said no that this was a new friend she had never seen before.
First before I give my opinion on this I have to say Gary was PISSED!! I actually laughed because he was so mad. He is appalled that she has already introduced another man into this poor confused child's life. He figures that this has to be a fairly new "friendship" since we seen her at Rylee's christmas show with Jake and Rylee has said that her mommy talks to the neighbor Chris a lot. So apparently her front door is a revolving door for men. If any one is interested I am sure I can find the address in some of Gary's documents!
I find it amusing that she has not learned her lesson with the four or five other relationships that she has prematurely introduced to Rylee (even letting one of them move in with them) before being postive that it was going somewhere. As a woman does she not understand the importance of her influence on her daughter. Everytime Rylee sees her with another man she is getting the wrong impression on what a relationship between a woman and man should look like. No wonder that Rylee has emotional issues. You can not leave a room with out her asking you 100 questions about where you going, when are you coming back, can I come with you, just to name a few. These are issues she has because the people come in and out of her life so frequently.
I reminded Gary that the time she spends with us models a loving relationship between a husband and a wife and that he has to take comfort in that. I know that it will come to a point where he has to give up this eternal battle that he has with the way she chooses to raise their daughter. His influence is minimal and there is nothing he can do about that. He can spend thousands of dollars getting a high powered Father's Rights attorney to force her into mediation and then get their paperwork changed but for what. She will continue to make inappropriate decisions that will effect Rylee.
I never ever introduced any of the guys that I was with after Joey to Zach. Gary was the only one and that was after a year of seeing him and we had started to talk about moving in together. Any date I went on was on the days that I did not have Zach, and I never pawned him off so that I could go out.
I just wish that things could stay normal for just a little bit. I know that he thinks having Rylee here more often would make a difference but it really won't. He is starting to realize that he has a second chance with Brienna and it is becoming more and more apparent in the way he acts. I am sure that he will pursue something with this, but I will try my best to get him to back off for a while to see what happens. I just want her to go away, and no that this crap with court is finally over until next year when she takes him back to court again, I just don't want to have to think about it anymore!!!
I have really made a conscious effort over the last several months to realize that I am a little factor in this child's life. For Chrit's sake she told me that she calls me her sister's mom because that is what her Mommy told her I was and nothing more. I have no interest in working that hard for a relationship with a 5 year old. I have a son and a daughter who love me more then life itself and that is good enough for me. So to Rylee I will always be the woman that is married to her dad and I am okay with that.
This post made me sad for you and Rylee. I know that she has a mom, and that you are "just" her step-mom, but you are so much more than that. It makes me sad that Shari cannot get over herself for one moment to think of the lasting damage that she is doing. No, you are not Rylee's mom, nor or you trying to be. But you are going to be in her life forever, and I wish that you could have a better relationship. I know that you will not, because of all the nasty things that her mom has put in her head. My mom always encouraged a good relationship between us and our step-mom. It is just nice to know that there is another woman out there who has my best interest at heart and who loves me. I so badly wish that Rylee could have that in you. You have been so good to her and it is like you get slapped in the face every time you turn around. I truly don't know how you can handle it. But everytime that we talk, you amaze me with your loyalty to Gary and to trying to have a relationship with Rylee. Don't give up on one just yet.
ReplyDelete