game over

As most of my friends (and I use that word with strong purpose) and family that read my blog do so because they like to catch up. For example, my best friend in the whole wide world Jamie who lives in Texas gets to see current pictures of the kids at least once a week even though she only “sees” them once or twice a year. My dearest friend from high school Becky gets to read about what’s going on in my life because she lives in Minnesota and we don’t get to talk that much.

However, for the past 5-6 months I have had what I have lovingly referred to as my Cyber Stalkers! Yes, you know who you are. See the fantastic thing about technology, and I being some what cyber savvy with two different retail websites, know that there are programs you can install on your own managed websites that tracks the activity to your site. This I use with my other sites to target specific areas to see where my hits are coming from. For this though I installed it to find out who was actually reading my blog. See every time you look at my blog page it tracks your IP address and your location.

What does this mean you ask, well I know that Gary ex’s sister Tracy checks my blog almost every day. I know that her best friend Meghan checks it pretty much twice a day. Finally, a person that took me a little while to figure out was Shari’s other friend Michelle who only visits it every once in a while. However, what I find most interesting about this is that Shari (Gary’s ex) has never checked this blog once. What I find even more interesting is that she has blocked me on Facebook which means that she can not see my Facebook page either (which in case you are wondering, I leave unlocked on purpose). So why you ask do these people feel the need to check my site so often? Unfortunately I do not have the answer for that either. I do know that back in November Shari and Meghan spent an entire Saturday afternoon reading every single one of my posts since the very beginning.

I find it very amusing that these three people have been so obsessed with my life that I have become part of their daily activity. What the hell is so interesting about my life? I am a normal human being that has great days and horrible days and this blog was supposed to be a place that I could come vent and brag about all the things that happen to me. What is there still to learn about me, and why do you care if the person who should hate me the most doesn’t care enough to look at it? That means to me that she has moved on from the past so why I ask haven’t you three. Are you waiting for the truth to come out….well here you go!

Yes, Gary and I both cheated on our previous spouses when we first got together. Yes, that was wrong. However I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to be in the position that we are in right now. He loves me more then he ever loved her, and I love him more then I ever loved Joey. We are each other’s best friends and rarely do we spend time apart. I did not take anything from Shari, because Gary was long gone from that relationship before I ever came along. I was not the first girl he cheated on her with, I was just fortunate enough to be the last. No, I don’t worry that he will do this to me because I give him everything emotionally and physically that he needs something that Shari never did. We have been living together for 2.5 years dating for over 3 years. Why after all this time am I still that interesting of a person.

Do I hate the things that Rylee is exposed to, and disagree with some of the choices her mother makes? Absolutely! Does that mean that I am not allowed to bitch about it, I don’t think so? The only difference is that I do it in writing, something that was meant to be an “online” diary so to speak. I am fully aware that this is on the internet and thus means that it is more visible to more people. I don’t have a problem with people reading it; I don’t say anything on here that I would not say to someone’s face. However, I just don’t understand why these three people are still so interested in what I have to say.

Perhaps you are taking the information you read and passing it along to Shari. I am pretty sure that it is no secret to her that I am not her biggest fan, just like it doesn’t surprise me that she would convince her daughter to quit ice skating just so she didn’t have to see me and my illegitimate daughter every week meaning that she is not my biggest fan either. To that I say one thing, suck it up because you are all unfortunately stuck with me in Rylee’s life for a very long time.

Whatever your reasons for checking up on me so often, I just thought that the game had gone on long enough and I thought you should be aware that I have known you have been reading what I have to say ever since you originally found out about this back in September. Just know that I will continue posting about my life which unfortunately for you involves the trials and tribulations that I have to put up with being the wife of a divorced man with a child.

The one thing that really strikes me the most is that none of you have EVER met me. You know one side of one person’s story which is to be expected since you are very close to Shari. Even more so is that from my understanding Tracy’s situation was very similar to mine, however your family embraced Eric with open arms. You are a “step-mother” to two girls and Rylee even refers to Eric as “Uncle Eric” and you are not even married. How is Rylee any less of a daughter to me then Eric’s two girls are to you? Everyone is upset that Rylee calls me Mom, but again that is her choice. Eric’s girls might not call Tracy Mom but that is their decision, but I am sure that they look at you as their second mother.

I am happy with where my life is today, and as I said I would not change a single moment of any of it. Gary is the most amazing father to my son, which is lucky for me since his biological one sucks! Everyone in life is entitled to their opinion, and I am certainly not shy about mine. I am true to who I am, and truth be told it has taken me a lot to get to this point in my life in which I was not worried about what others thought of me, and I credit a lot of that to having the most amazing husband and therapy (yes I do go to therapy).

You guys spend a lot of time talking about Karma and what goes around comes around. That might be so, but if you are waiting for bad karma to strike me and Gary trust me when I say we deal with it every time we have to go back to court for something trivial. I felt the bad Karma after spending $5000 dollars on a lawyer just for it to get “agreed” upon outside of court. Perhaps some one should tell Linda that the $6000 or so dollars that he owes to her could have been paid back a lot faster if we didn’t have to keep spending ridiculous amounts of moneys on attorneys. Instead now she is forced to accept $200 per month and wait almost three years for it. I definitely feel I pay the price for my decisions every time more bullshit comes up, and I fully expect it to continue for the next 13 years. However, Gary is worth that and so much more from me. There is nothing that can be thrown at as that we will not come out ahead of and in an even stronger relationship.

I don’t care if you all think that I am a whore who stole somebody’s husband, although that really would be the pot calling the kettle black. Especially since Shari herself dated a married man who’s wife found out and pulled their child from the daycare, but I guess that only applies to other people and not the Ganser girls.

Feel free to continue reading if you would like. Also, feel free to continue checking my Facebook, and don’t worry I don’t have a tracker on that one. Facebook doesn’t allow for HTML plug ins, don’t think I didn’t try. Just always remember there are two sides to everyone’s story so in reading this you were able to get mine.