Since I am able to stay home with Brienna, I fully try to capitalize on all the things I missed with having to work the early years of Zach's life. We spend a lot of time playing every day, and it amazes me what she picks up on so quickly. She got a Laugh n Learn tea set for her birthday and we have little tea parties. In a couple days she knows to poor the tea pot and sip the cup...it's really so cute. Today we started working on the features of our faces. By the end of the day she was able to point out her nose, eyes, and mouth. This is a little video of her doing it, but she was obviously a little distracted with her brother's toys. This was the best I could get no matter how hard I tried.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
kindergarten prep
Today we had a meeting at Zach's preschool regarding the preparation for next year. Nothing like sitting in a room at 8:30am to discuss where your child should fall on the scale to make you feel the smack of reality. Zach is right where he should be for his age and can write his own name better then most of the kids in his class, but I am worried about the process of teaching him to read. Zach and I don't work well together on his homework and usually I have Gary oversee it with him. When I sit down to do his homework he wants me to do everything for him even though he knows the answers, but when Gary helps him he does it perfect as if he enjoys getting the "good job" from him more so then me. I doesn't bother me though, because it is a good bonding opportunity for them.
We discussed in the meeting about all the "self help" things that they could be expected to do by the time they start next year. Of all the things on the list only tying the shoes Zach was able to do. I was surprised when they said that they still had kids in his class that could not zipper their own jacket. I have a book that we bought to help teach him how to tie shoes, but right now he is only able to get the first step of crossing the strings and tying the first knot.
I can not believe that he is already registered for Kindergarten. I have always said that having kids makes life go by so much quicker. It amazes me just to look at pictures from a year ago and see the difference in him. This picture is his school picture from this year...
I could not believe how much he looked like a little boy and not so much like a toddler any more. I actually thought at first glance that they had sent me the wrong pictures. Thankfully you can't tell in this picture that this sweater is quite big on him. He got it from my brother and sister in law for Christmas and it was a 5/6, but it looked good on him none the less.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
game over
As most of my friends (and I use that word with strong purpose) and family that read my blog do so because they like to catch up. For example, my best friend in the whole wide world Jamie who lives in Texas gets to see current pictures of the kids at least once a week even though she only “sees” them once or twice a year. My dearest friend from high school Becky gets to read about what’s going on in my life because she lives in Minnesota and we don’t get to talk that much.
However, for the past 5-6 months I have had what I have lovingly referred to as my Cyber Stalkers! Yes, you know who you are. See the fantastic thing about technology, and I being some what cyber savvy with two different retail websites, know that there are programs you can install on your own managed websites that tracks the activity to your site. This I use with my other sites to target specific areas to see where my hits are coming from. For this though I installed it to find out who was actually reading my blog. See every time you look at my blog page it tracks your IP address and your location.
What does this mean you ask, well I know that Gary ex’s sister Tracy checks my blog almost every day. I know that her best friend Meghan checks it pretty much twice a day. Finally, a person that took me a little while to figure out was Shari’s other friend Michelle who only visits it every once in a while. However, what I find most interesting about this is that Shari (Gary’s ex) has never checked this blog once. What I find even more interesting is that she has blocked me on Facebook which means that she can not see my Facebook page either (which in case you are wondering, I leave unlocked on purpose). So why you ask do these people feel the need to check my site so often? Unfortunately I do not have the answer for that either. I do know that back in November Shari and Meghan spent an entire Saturday afternoon reading every single one of my posts since the very beginning.
I find it very amusing that these three people have been so obsessed with my life that I have become part of their daily activity. What the hell is so interesting about my life? I am a normal human being that has great days and horrible days and this blog was supposed to be a place that I could come vent and brag about all the things that happen to me. What is there still to learn about me, and why do you care if the person who should hate me the most doesn’t care enough to look at it? That means to me that she has moved on from the past so why I ask haven’t you three. Are you waiting for the truth to come out….well here you go!
Yes, Gary and I both cheated on our previous spouses when we first got together. Yes, that was wrong. However I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to be in the position that we are in right now. He loves me more then he ever loved her, and I love him more then I ever loved Joey. We are each other’s best friends and rarely do we spend time apart. I did not take anything from Shari, because Gary was long gone from that relationship before I ever came along. I was not the first girl he cheated on her with, I was just fortunate enough to be the last. No, I don’t worry that he will do this to me because I give him everything emotionally and physically that he needs something that Shari never did. We have been living together for 2.5 years dating for over 3 years. Why after all this time am I still that interesting of a person.
Do I hate the things that Rylee is exposed to, and disagree with some of the choices her mother makes? Absolutely! Does that mean that I am not allowed to bitch about it, I don’t think so? The only difference is that I do it in writing, something that was meant to be an “online” diary so to speak. I am fully aware that this is on the internet and thus means that it is more visible to more people. I don’t have a problem with people reading it; I don’t say anything on here that I would not say to someone’s face. However, I just don’t understand why these three people are still so interested in what I have to say.
Perhaps you are taking the information you read and passing it along to Shari. I am pretty sure that it is no secret to her that I am not her biggest fan, just like it doesn’t surprise me that she would convince her daughter to quit ice skating just so she didn’t have to see me and my illegitimate daughter every week meaning that she is not my biggest fan either. To that I say one thing, suck it up because you are all unfortunately stuck with me in Rylee’s life for a very long time.
Whatever your reasons for checking up on me so often, I just thought that the game had gone on long enough and I thought you should be aware that I have known you have been reading what I have to say ever since you originally found out about this back in September. Just know that I will continue posting about my life which unfortunately for you involves the trials and tribulations that I have to put up with being the wife of a divorced man with a child.
The one thing that really strikes me the most is that none of you have EVER met me. You know one side of one person’s story which is to be expected since you are very close to Shari. Even more so is that from my understanding Tracy’s situation was very similar to mine, however your family embraced Eric with open arms. You are a “step-mother” to two girls and Rylee even refers to Eric as “Uncle Eric” and you are not even married. How is Rylee any less of a daughter to me then Eric’s two girls are to you? Everyone is upset that Rylee calls me Mom, but again that is her choice. Eric’s girls might not call Tracy Mom but that is their decision, but I am sure that they look at you as their second mother.
I am happy with where my life is today, and as I said I would not change a single moment of any of it. Gary is the most amazing father to my son, which is lucky for me since his biological one sucks! Everyone in life is entitled to their opinion, and I am certainly not shy about mine. I am true to who I am, and truth be told it has taken me a lot to get to this point in my life in which I was not worried about what others thought of me, and I credit a lot of that to having the most amazing husband and therapy (yes I do go to therapy).
You guys spend a lot of time talking about Karma and what goes around comes around. That might be so, but if you are waiting for bad karma to strike me and Gary trust me when I say we deal with it every time we have to go back to court for something trivial. I felt the bad Karma after spending $5000 dollars on a lawyer just for it to get “agreed” upon outside of court. Perhaps some one should tell Linda that the $6000 or so dollars that he owes to her could have been paid back a lot faster if we didn’t have to keep spending ridiculous amounts of moneys on attorneys. Instead now she is forced to accept $200 per month and wait almost three years for it. I definitely feel I pay the price for my decisions every time more bullshit comes up, and I fully expect it to continue for the next 13 years. However, Gary is worth that and so much more from me. There is nothing that can be thrown at as that we will not come out ahead of and in an even stronger relationship.
I don’t care if you all think that I am a whore who stole somebody’s husband, although that really would be the pot calling the kettle black. Especially since Shari herself dated a married man who’s wife found out and pulled their child from the daycare, but I guess that only applies to other people and not the Ganser girls.
Feel free to continue reading if you would like. Also, feel free to continue checking my Facebook, and don’t worry I don’t have a tracker on that one. Facebook doesn’t allow for HTML plug ins, don’t think I didn’t try. Just always remember there are two sides to everyone’s story so in reading this you were able to get mine.
However, for the past 5-6 months I have had what I have lovingly referred to as my Cyber Stalkers! Yes, you know who you are. See the fantastic thing about technology, and I being some what cyber savvy with two different retail websites, know that there are programs you can install on your own managed websites that tracks the activity to your site. This I use with my other sites to target specific areas to see where my hits are coming from. For this though I installed it to find out who was actually reading my blog. See every time you look at my blog page it tracks your IP address and your location.
What does this mean you ask, well I know that Gary ex’s sister Tracy checks my blog almost every day. I know that her best friend Meghan checks it pretty much twice a day. Finally, a person that took me a little while to figure out was Shari’s other friend Michelle who only visits it every once in a while. However, what I find most interesting about this is that Shari (Gary’s ex) has never checked this blog once. What I find even more interesting is that she has blocked me on Facebook which means that she can not see my Facebook page either (which in case you are wondering, I leave unlocked on purpose). So why you ask do these people feel the need to check my site so often? Unfortunately I do not have the answer for that either. I do know that back in November Shari and Meghan spent an entire Saturday afternoon reading every single one of my posts since the very beginning.
I find it very amusing that these three people have been so obsessed with my life that I have become part of their daily activity. What the hell is so interesting about my life? I am a normal human being that has great days and horrible days and this blog was supposed to be a place that I could come vent and brag about all the things that happen to me. What is there still to learn about me, and why do you care if the person who should hate me the most doesn’t care enough to look at it? That means to me that she has moved on from the past so why I ask haven’t you three. Are you waiting for the truth to come out….well here you go!
Yes, Gary and I both cheated on our previous spouses when we first got together. Yes, that was wrong. However I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to be in the position that we are in right now. He loves me more then he ever loved her, and I love him more then I ever loved Joey. We are each other’s best friends and rarely do we spend time apart. I did not take anything from Shari, because Gary was long gone from that relationship before I ever came along. I was not the first girl he cheated on her with, I was just fortunate enough to be the last. No, I don’t worry that he will do this to me because I give him everything emotionally and physically that he needs something that Shari never did. We have been living together for 2.5 years dating for over 3 years. Why after all this time am I still that interesting of a person.
Do I hate the things that Rylee is exposed to, and disagree with some of the choices her mother makes? Absolutely! Does that mean that I am not allowed to bitch about it, I don’t think so? The only difference is that I do it in writing, something that was meant to be an “online” diary so to speak. I am fully aware that this is on the internet and thus means that it is more visible to more people. I don’t have a problem with people reading it; I don’t say anything on here that I would not say to someone’s face. However, I just don’t understand why these three people are still so interested in what I have to say.
Perhaps you are taking the information you read and passing it along to Shari. I am pretty sure that it is no secret to her that I am not her biggest fan, just like it doesn’t surprise me that she would convince her daughter to quit ice skating just so she didn’t have to see me and my illegitimate daughter every week meaning that she is not my biggest fan either. To that I say one thing, suck it up because you are all unfortunately stuck with me in Rylee’s life for a very long time.
Whatever your reasons for checking up on me so often, I just thought that the game had gone on long enough and I thought you should be aware that I have known you have been reading what I have to say ever since you originally found out about this back in September. Just know that I will continue posting about my life which unfortunately for you involves the trials and tribulations that I have to put up with being the wife of a divorced man with a child.
The one thing that really strikes me the most is that none of you have EVER met me. You know one side of one person’s story which is to be expected since you are very close to Shari. Even more so is that from my understanding Tracy’s situation was very similar to mine, however your family embraced Eric with open arms. You are a “step-mother” to two girls and Rylee even refers to Eric as “Uncle Eric” and you are not even married. How is Rylee any less of a daughter to me then Eric’s two girls are to you? Everyone is upset that Rylee calls me Mom, but again that is her choice. Eric’s girls might not call Tracy Mom but that is their decision, but I am sure that they look at you as their second mother.
I am happy with where my life is today, and as I said I would not change a single moment of any of it. Gary is the most amazing father to my son, which is lucky for me since his biological one sucks! Everyone in life is entitled to their opinion, and I am certainly not shy about mine. I am true to who I am, and truth be told it has taken me a lot to get to this point in my life in which I was not worried about what others thought of me, and I credit a lot of that to having the most amazing husband and therapy (yes I do go to therapy).
You guys spend a lot of time talking about Karma and what goes around comes around. That might be so, but if you are waiting for bad karma to strike me and Gary trust me when I say we deal with it every time we have to go back to court for something trivial. I felt the bad Karma after spending $5000 dollars on a lawyer just for it to get “agreed” upon outside of court. Perhaps some one should tell Linda that the $6000 or so dollars that he owes to her could have been paid back a lot faster if we didn’t have to keep spending ridiculous amounts of moneys on attorneys. Instead now she is forced to accept $200 per month and wait almost three years for it. I definitely feel I pay the price for my decisions every time more bullshit comes up, and I fully expect it to continue for the next 13 years. However, Gary is worth that and so much more from me. There is nothing that can be thrown at as that we will not come out ahead of and in an even stronger relationship.
I don’t care if you all think that I am a whore who stole somebody’s husband, although that really would be the pot calling the kettle black. Especially since Shari herself dated a married man who’s wife found out and pulled their child from the daycare, but I guess that only applies to other people and not the Ganser girls.
Feel free to continue reading if you would like. Also, feel free to continue checking my Facebook, and don’t worry I don’t have a tracker on that one. Facebook doesn’t allow for HTML plug ins, don’t think I didn’t try. Just always remember there are two sides to everyone’s story so in reading this you were able to get mine.
Monday, February 22, 2010
finally over it
Brienna has been so sick for the last week, and really glad to be finally over it. It started as I mentioned before at her birthday party. It progressed into a fever and really bad diapers. Every day I was changing her clothes two or three times a day from these explosions. I actually had to take a sample to the urgent care so they could test her for any bacteria infections. Thankfully that all came out clear, and she was recovering by this last friday.
We laid low all weekend and played around the house. On friday I had went out and bought her a Dora toy box and little sofa. She was so excited as Gary and I put it together on Saturday. The sofa has come in very handy. Now everyday when I put on her "My Baby Can Read" DVD she sits on the little couch and watches the show. I think she is actually starting to recognize some of the words because when they pop on the screen like "clap" she actually starts to clap. It could just be memorization at this point because they are supposed to watch the first DVD for 6 months before they move on but it is the same 50 words spread out in different orders and mixed with songs and pictures over a 15 minute DVD...so maybe it isn't memorization?!?!
We went out for pizza with friends on Satuday night and then ran some errands on Sunday. Most importantly we caught up on some of our DVR. I really don't know how people watched TV before this tremendous invention. Most of our evenings are spent catching up on work in the office, so we never get to watch a show live. The weekends with out the older kids means we can get more shows knocked off the DVR because Brienna actually naps. Not to mention she is content playing by herself more so then when you play with her.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
this poor little girl
I am not sure if it was all the sugar from the cake, M&Ms, and soda that Rylee had at the party but she was in a crazy mood last night. After we put Brienna to bed we came in the basement to spend some time with the kids. Rylee wanted to sit next to me on the couch which was odd because she usually wants to sit next to her Dad. She started telling me about all the kids in her class at school, and which ones are her "best" friends which seemed to be over half the class. She told me about the sleepover she had with one of her friends a while back. She started asking questions about my parents and if they were only Zach's and Brienna's Nana and Papa or were they hers as well. I explained to her that they were no different to her then they were to Zach and Brienna. She asked me why her Nani was not Zach and Brienna's too. I explained to her about that being her Mom's mom and that her Mom was only hers and no one else's so that made her Nani only hers and her cousin Peyton. She then looked at me with the saddest look on her face and said "but my Nani tells me that my Mom is my only mom and she gets really upset when I accidently call you Mom in front of her instead of Cori". My response, as much as this pissed me off, was simply that Rylee should never feel bad for calling me Mom in front of anyone and that it was not fair for anyone to make her feel that way.
She also asked me why I married Daddy, and if I love her the same as I love Zach and Brienna. Of course this sparked my interest and I asked her why would she feel that I did not love her the same as them, and her response was that she was told that she was not my kid. I know that she is young, and that means she could not possibly understand the concept of a step-mother. Gary actually surprised me by relating to her that when her Mommy gets married again that her new husband would be Rylee's step-father which means that she would have 2 dads, just like she now has 2 moms.
I am sure that this conversation was much more enlightening to me then it was to her. I just think it truely shows how sad and pathetic the other half of her family can be. The thing that surprises me the most is that most of the negativity comes from her Grandmother. How much of piece of crap could you be to make a 5 year old feel bad for calling her stepmother "mom" in front of you. Neither I nor Gary have forced either one of the kids to refer to us as mom or dad. This is strictly their decision, and so it should NO ONE else's influence that trys to stop them for doing so.
I still can't believe that they are so pathetically hung up on our relationship after all this time, I really wonder when they will finely just let this poor confused child figure out her "family" situation on her own with out inserting their warped opinions!
She also asked me why I married Daddy, and if I love her the same as I love Zach and Brienna. Of course this sparked my interest and I asked her why would she feel that I did not love her the same as them, and her response was that she was told that she was not my kid. I know that she is young, and that means she could not possibly understand the concept of a step-mother. Gary actually surprised me by relating to her that when her Mommy gets married again that her new husband would be Rylee's step-father which means that she would have 2 dads, just like she now has 2 moms.
I am sure that this conversation was much more enlightening to me then it was to her. I just think it truely shows how sad and pathetic the other half of her family can be. The thing that surprises me the most is that most of the negativity comes from her Grandmother. How much of piece of crap could you be to make a 5 year old feel bad for calling her stepmother "mom" in front of you. Neither I nor Gary have forced either one of the kids to refer to us as mom or dad. This is strictly their decision, and so it should NO ONE else's influence that trys to stop them for doing so.
I still can't believe that they are so pathetically hung up on our relationship after all this time, I really wonder when they will finely just let this poor confused child figure out her "family" situation on her own with out inserting their warped opinions!
the big birthday bash
Saturday we had Brienna and Liam's first birthday party. Since they were only born a week apart we thought it would be easier to have every body come all at the same time. This way my brother and I were able to share the expenses so it made it more manageable for everyone.
The party went off with out a problem. I was so excited that I was able to spend time with Jamie and the girls. It makes me sad that we only get to see each other a few times a year, but when ever I do get the chance I always try to enjoy it as much as possible. I can't believe how big Meredith and Madilyn had gotten since October.
Poor Brienna did not eat much all day, and then had the blow outs of all blow outs during the party. Thank goodness Jamie was in the bathroom when I went to change her because I had to completely strip her of her clothes and rinse her down with wet paper towels, yes it was really that bad. We grabbed in outfit that my mom had given her and redressed her to come back to the party, just in time for the cake...her favorite part!
All in all it was perfect day and everyone had a great time at the party. Especially the kids with the two pinatas. They were all so excited to get all the candy!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
oh, so now you want to be involved
Yesterday Joey calls my cell phone to complain about Zach's occupational therapy. I informed him of what was going on last week when I got the write up from the doctor. I explained to him that Zach had been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder. When I told him about it he did not seemed phased by any of it. Then out of the blue he calls me to tell me that he knows his son and there is nothing wrong with him. I asked him if he had looked it up on the Internet like I suggested and of course he had not. He was demanding me to cancel the treatment or he was going to take me to court to take custody away from me. WHAT?!?! I would really really like to see that happen. Yes, any judge in their right mind would give custody to dead beat that can't pay his bills, and moves every 6 months to avoid bill collectors. That's funny, was my response to him.
After explaining to him about what the therapy entailed and that Zach would look at every week as a chance to play rough and learn how to regulate his senses and allow him to focus more all through play therapy. He managed to calm down a little. I finally had to say the obvious, that Joey does not have the first clue about his son. He spends the minimum amount of time with him, picking him up as late as he can on Friday and returning him as early as possible on Sunday. There is no way he has an accurate picture of Zach in that little amount of time. I gave him examples of issues he has at school, issues he has at home, and then issues he has in normal play with other kids. I pointed out some of the issues he had in sports, and then suddenly he was seeing where I was coming from.
You know, I am glad that he took in interest FOR ONCE in something to do with Zach. Zach has been seeing an Endocronologist since he was two and Joey has never once asked anything about any of those appointments. Now because he thinks I am submitting my child to some head shrinking process he is all up in a fuss. He amazes me, and more then anything reminds me of why I left that marriage far far back in my past!!!
After explaining to him about what the therapy entailed and that Zach would look at every week as a chance to play rough and learn how to regulate his senses and allow him to focus more all through play therapy. He managed to calm down a little. I finally had to say the obvious, that Joey does not have the first clue about his son. He spends the minimum amount of time with him, picking him up as late as he can on Friday and returning him as early as possible on Sunday. There is no way he has an accurate picture of Zach in that little amount of time. I gave him examples of issues he has at school, issues he has at home, and then issues he has in normal play with other kids. I pointed out some of the issues he had in sports, and then suddenly he was seeing where I was coming from.
You know, I am glad that he took in interest FOR ONCE in something to do with Zach. Zach has been seeing an Endocronologist since he was two and Joey has never once asked anything about any of those appointments. Now because he thinks I am submitting my child to some head shrinking process he is all up in a fuss. He amazes me, and more then anything reminds me of why I left that marriage far far back in my past!!!
one year check up
Brienna had her one year check at the doctor yesterday. She was 30 inches long in the 85% for height, and 19 lbs 9 oz in the 20% for her weight. She passed all of the developmental milestones with flying colors as well.
After the doctor checked her out she gave her the reflex hammer to play with while we waited for the nurse to come in for the worst part...her shots. She was so happy, I felt so bad knowing what was coming next. They had pricked her finger for a iron test, and of course she would not stop playing with it. She got off two band aids and of course it would not stop bleeding.
After the doctor checked her out she gave her the reflex hammer to play with while we waited for the nurse to come in for the worst part...her shots. She was so happy, I felt so bad knowing what was coming next. They had pricked her finger for a iron test, and of course she would not stop playing with it. She got off two band aids and of course it would not stop bleeding.
I can't believe how good she has gotten in walking in just a matter of a week. In a month she will be running around with her brother like a crazy!!
the long road ahead
As I mentioned a while back we had made the decision that we were going to have another baby in 2010. As the end of the year approached we started to get more serious about timing, and what our plans would be. I had joked with Gary that I wanted to adopt a little 4 year old boy so that Zach would have a permanent play mate since Rylee never wants anything to do with him while she is here. After some serious talk we actually began to consider the possibility of adoption. It has something that I have always wanted to do, but never really thought I would be in the right position for it.
I started to do some research on it in December. I realized that we would have some things working against us. I compiled all my research and found an recommended agency in Buffalo Grove, and contacted them. After weeks of phone tag, and then our vacation I was finally able to connect with the representative earlier this week.
The first issue I knew we would have would be our divorces. I was told that only more then 2 divorces was a problem. The second issue I was concerned with was the length of time we have been married. She told me that putting together our home study and dossier paperwork will take 6-7 months so we have to take our time doing this and then they can submit it to our country of choice after our one year anniversary.
After we get all of this done, we wait for the approval and then wait for a referral for a child. Once we receive a referral and we are interest we make our first trip for 5-6 days to meet the little one. If everything goes well and we want to accept the referral then we travel back home to wait for our court date to adopt. The whole process should take 18 months from yesterday when we submitted our application to the agency to bringing home our little man.
Yes, we submitted our application for a little boy 0-36 months from Russia. We picked this country because we felt the type of program they offered was best for our situation. Some countries have limitations of how many children can already be in the home, some give preference for no divorce, and the race of the child was a factor as well. Although Gary or I would have no problem with a different race of child, I was concerned about what that would mean for them as they grew up. I would not want them to feel pointed out if we were all in public and he did not look like his brother or sisters, Mom and Dad. Some people can be really ignorant and in my research on adopted children I did find some stories in which the children always felt like outsiders because they didn't "match" the rest of their family.
We are very very excited to have taken this first step. We still have a very long road ahead of us, and a lot of obstacles to get through. However, this journey will be that once in a lifetime experience that not many people can have. Gary is so excited about the idea of having a son that can carry on his name. Of course he considers Zach his own, but unfortunately Zach will not have our last name (unless of course he changes it himself when he is older as he keeps saying he wants to do).
Stay tuned for more, I am sure this will be a great source of stress and emotion in our life over the next 18 months. I just know it will be all worth it in the end!
I started to do some research on it in December. I realized that we would have some things working against us. I compiled all my research and found an recommended agency in Buffalo Grove, and contacted them. After weeks of phone tag, and then our vacation I was finally able to connect with the representative earlier this week.
The first issue I knew we would have would be our divorces. I was told that only more then 2 divorces was a problem. The second issue I was concerned with was the length of time we have been married. She told me that putting together our home study and dossier paperwork will take 6-7 months so we have to take our time doing this and then they can submit it to our country of choice after our one year anniversary.
After we get all of this done, we wait for the approval and then wait for a referral for a child. Once we receive a referral and we are interest we make our first trip for 5-6 days to meet the little one. If everything goes well and we want to accept the referral then we travel back home to wait for our court date to adopt. The whole process should take 18 months from yesterday when we submitted our application to the agency to bringing home our little man.
Yes, we submitted our application for a little boy 0-36 months from Russia. We picked this country because we felt the type of program they offered was best for our situation. Some countries have limitations of how many children can already be in the home, some give preference for no divorce, and the race of the child was a factor as well. Although Gary or I would have no problem with a different race of child, I was concerned about what that would mean for them as they grew up. I would not want them to feel pointed out if we were all in public and he did not look like his brother or sisters, Mom and Dad. Some people can be really ignorant and in my research on adopted children I did find some stories in which the children always felt like outsiders because they didn't "match" the rest of their family.
We are very very excited to have taken this first step. We still have a very long road ahead of us, and a lot of obstacles to get through. However, this journey will be that once in a lifetime experience that not many people can have. Gary is so excited about the idea of having a son that can carry on his name. Of course he considers Zach his own, but unfortunately Zach will not have our last name (unless of course he changes it himself when he is older as he keeps saying he wants to do).
Stay tuned for more, I am sure this will be a great source of stress and emotion in our life over the next 18 months. I just know it will be all worth it in the end!
brienna is one year old
When we got home from our vacation we found out that Brienna had started walking. We knew that this was going to happen, she was so close before we left I just figured it would end up being while we were gone. At least Grandma and Grandpa were able to be there for the momentous occasion. Of course now a week and half later she is a professional.
Her birthday was last Friday, and she had a great time. Gary and I took her to Monkey Joes so that she could play in the bounce houses. They have an area that is dedicated to small children like her, so we did not have to worry about older kids running her over. Gary and I took her by herself so that she could have a special time all alone.
That night we had Rylee, kept Zach, and had over the grandparents and cousins. She opened her presents, did a number on her cake, and played played played with her cousin Liam that will be one in a couple of days.
I can't believe that an entire year has gone by since she was born. It is amazing how fast time flies. It seems only yesterday that she was small enough to fit on Gary's shoulder when she was sleeping, or that every night before she went to bed she would cry the cutest little cry for no reason at all as almost a way of letting us know that she was ready for bed.
I know that every year flies by just as quickly. I have so much to look forward to in the years ahead. It has been such a different experience the bond you have with your little girl then you have with a son. She is my little partner in crime, and I look forward to all the trouble we will get into as she gets older :)
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
and in comes another
So Rylee this weekend went on and on about Mommy's new friend "Mike" and how she went out to dinner with him and over to his house while we were on vacation. Gary asked her if this was mommy's friend "Michael" that used to come and visit her a while ago, and she said no that this was a new friend she had never seen before.
First before I give my opinion on this I have to say Gary was PISSED!! I actually laughed because he was so mad. He is appalled that she has already introduced another man into this poor confused child's life. He figures that this has to be a fairly new "friendship" since we seen her at Rylee's christmas show with Jake and Rylee has said that her mommy talks to the neighbor Chris a lot. So apparently her front door is a revolving door for men. If any one is interested I am sure I can find the address in some of Gary's documents!
I find it amusing that she has not learned her lesson with the four or five other relationships that she has prematurely introduced to Rylee (even letting one of them move in with them) before being postive that it was going somewhere. As a woman does she not understand the importance of her influence on her daughter. Everytime Rylee sees her with another man she is getting the wrong impression on what a relationship between a woman and man should look like. No wonder that Rylee has emotional issues. You can not leave a room with out her asking you 100 questions about where you going, when are you coming back, can I come with you, just to name a few. These are issues she has because the people come in and out of her life so frequently.
I reminded Gary that the time she spends with us models a loving relationship between a husband and a wife and that he has to take comfort in that. I know that it will come to a point where he has to give up this eternal battle that he has with the way she chooses to raise their daughter. His influence is minimal and there is nothing he can do about that. He can spend thousands of dollars getting a high powered Father's Rights attorney to force her into mediation and then get their paperwork changed but for what. She will continue to make inappropriate decisions that will effect Rylee.
I never ever introduced any of the guys that I was with after Joey to Zach. Gary was the only one and that was after a year of seeing him and we had started to talk about moving in together. Any date I went on was on the days that I did not have Zach, and I never pawned him off so that I could go out.
I just wish that things could stay normal for just a little bit. I know that he thinks having Rylee here more often would make a difference but it really won't. He is starting to realize that he has a second chance with Brienna and it is becoming more and more apparent in the way he acts. I am sure that he will pursue something with this, but I will try my best to get him to back off for a while to see what happens. I just want her to go away, and no that this crap with court is finally over until next year when she takes him back to court again, I just don't want to have to think about it anymore!!!
I have really made a conscious effort over the last several months to realize that I am a little factor in this child's life. For Chrit's sake she told me that she calls me her sister's mom because that is what her Mommy told her I was and nothing more. I have no interest in working that hard for a relationship with a 5 year old. I have a son and a daughter who love me more then life itself and that is good enough for me. So to Rylee I will always be the woman that is married to her dad and I am okay with that.
First before I give my opinion on this I have to say Gary was PISSED!! I actually laughed because he was so mad. He is appalled that she has already introduced another man into this poor confused child's life. He figures that this has to be a fairly new "friendship" since we seen her at Rylee's christmas show with Jake and Rylee has said that her mommy talks to the neighbor Chris a lot. So apparently her front door is a revolving door for men. If any one is interested I am sure I can find the address in some of Gary's documents!
I find it amusing that she has not learned her lesson with the four or five other relationships that she has prematurely introduced to Rylee (even letting one of them move in with them) before being postive that it was going somewhere. As a woman does she not understand the importance of her influence on her daughter. Everytime Rylee sees her with another man she is getting the wrong impression on what a relationship between a woman and man should look like. No wonder that Rylee has emotional issues. You can not leave a room with out her asking you 100 questions about where you going, when are you coming back, can I come with you, just to name a few. These are issues she has because the people come in and out of her life so frequently.
I reminded Gary that the time she spends with us models a loving relationship between a husband and a wife and that he has to take comfort in that. I know that it will come to a point where he has to give up this eternal battle that he has with the way she chooses to raise their daughter. His influence is minimal and there is nothing he can do about that. He can spend thousands of dollars getting a high powered Father's Rights attorney to force her into mediation and then get their paperwork changed but for what. She will continue to make inappropriate decisions that will effect Rylee.
I never ever introduced any of the guys that I was with after Joey to Zach. Gary was the only one and that was after a year of seeing him and we had started to talk about moving in together. Any date I went on was on the days that I did not have Zach, and I never pawned him off so that I could go out.
I just wish that things could stay normal for just a little bit. I know that he thinks having Rylee here more often would make a difference but it really won't. He is starting to realize that he has a second chance with Brienna and it is becoming more and more apparent in the way he acts. I am sure that he will pursue something with this, but I will try my best to get him to back off for a while to see what happens. I just want her to go away, and no that this crap with court is finally over until next year when she takes him back to court again, I just don't want to have to think about it anymore!!!
I have really made a conscious effort over the last several months to realize that I am a little factor in this child's life. For Chrit's sake she told me that she calls me her sister's mom because that is what her Mommy told her I was and nothing more. I have no interest in working that hard for a relationship with a 5 year old. I have a son and a daughter who love me more then life itself and that is good enough for me. So to Rylee I will always be the woman that is married to her dad and I am okay with that.
our honeymoon
I have been waiting for what feels like a century for our Cruise to come. We booked this back in November, so ever since then I have been so excited about getting a full week alone with no kids. Of course I missed Zach and Brienna before we even boarded the ship, and was so excited to see then that I woke them up on Saturday night when I got home. We flew out to Miami on Sunday the 24th. Being that it was January in Chicago we wanted to leave a day early to make sure that we had enough time to get to the ship in case of weather delays. We booked a hotel that was close to the ports so that we didn't have go far to get on the ship.
We boarded the ship on Monday, and left Miami at 5pm Monday night. The first night was fine, but the second day when I woke up I was a little off balance. I was not nauseous just felt like I had drank too much while still being coherent. I got used to it by later in the day. We went to the art auction where I won two paintings, and we picked up this really great piece of art work from Romero Britto. I love this artist, and the auctioneer knew that I was in love with this so they started the bidding pretty low so we got a great deal. Can't wait for it to come in the mail!
We had a great time in Mexico shopping, went snorkeling at some amazing reef in Belize, and attended a bunch of shows and events on the ship. I was really ready to come home on Saturday. We headed to the airport by 8:30am when we got off the ship even though our flight was not until 7pm that night. We originally picked this one because it was a cheaper option, and we figured we would hang out in Miami that day until it was time to go to the airport. We stood on the standby list ALL DAY on Saturday, and still did not make it out until our orignal flight. Needless to say I saw more of Miami International Airport then I cared to see.
I am so thankful to both of our parents for taking care of the kids. I know it will be a very long time before we get to take a trip just the two of us. That is until (cross your fingers) we find out more about the adoption we are researching, and then we might be taking a month long to trip to a foreign country!
Here are all the pictures from the trip that were worth posting. I have 100's but this blog takes way to long to post that many pictures!
The view from our state room. I loved to keep the door open every night so that we could hear the waves crash into the ship. It was the most relaxing noise, and now I think I am going to go find a noise machine that makes the same noise!
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