a night from hell

I have mentioned many times about my feelings of how Gary's ex deals with raising Rylee. I don't agree with a lot of her parenting methods, but I do believe that there are certain things that are down right devious and do nothing but emotional scar this little girl.

Gary picked up Rylee from daycare yesterday for his normal Wednesday visitation. Mind you, we had her here from Friday late morning until Tuesday morning for the long weekend. So it was only a day that she was back at her mom's house (the house with no rules). When Gary called me on his way home we talked and I could hear her singing and talking to herself in the background. Not 2 seconds after she walked in the door the crying and emotional breakdown began. She did not say hi to me, or Brienna. Just instantly started crying that she wanted to put on her pjs and go lay in her bed. It was 4:00pm in the afternoon! Gary told her to sit down and relax. I asked if she had a nap at school and he said that she did but she must still be tired. Of course I knew this was not the behavior of a tired Rylee but one who was genuinely not wanting to be with us again! Shortly after this Zach came upstairs from the basement excitedly to see Rylee and asked her to go downstairs to play and she of course ignored him. So I took Zach and Brienna into the basement to play because I felt bad. Gary shortly came down followed by Rylee and sat down. Gary took Brienna from me, and instantly Rylee was excited to see her and talk to her, but while I was holding her she wanted nothing to do with her. Very pissed by this I went upstairs to start dinner. Gary came up after I heard him battling with Rylee over a "bouncy ball" that she brought over here from her mom's house and her mom said that she HAD to bring back.

He came upstairs shaking his head that it has to be the TV Rylee has in her room over there that is making her so tired and acting this way. I lost it. I told him that I wished he would realize that this has nothing to do with her being tired and that it had everything to do with not wanting to be here. She was fine in the car on the way home and instantly broke down when she walked in the door. She wanted to go to bed because the sooner she went to bed the sooner it would be morning and she would be back at her mom's house. I know that his ex brainwashes this child about being at our house. Gary of course did not see where I was coming from, because God forbid he actually stood up to Shari and told her the way she was raising their daughter was turning her into a basket case. I understand there is little that he can do with getting Rylee to understand, but he can certainly bring this up to his ex and demand this crap stop.

Of course this argument was pointless because he thought I was being ridiculous of course that was until dinner time when Rylee announced that her mom told her that "I only have to do 1 sleep here, and then I get to have 6 sleeps at my house". I instantly looked at Gary and said your right Shari definitely dosen't put these thoughts in her head about it being awful to be here.

I am sure that many people would think I am being overly sensitive about this, but trust me Rylee is the queen of the castle in Gary's eyes too. Now that we have a child of our own I have rules and standards that will apply to Brienna and to Zach. These are different then those that Rylee has at her other house, and as she gets older the behavior will only get worse and I refuse to let her lack of rules be the norm in this house and effect my kids. I would tear Joey a new one if he was putting thoughts into Zach's head about being here and Gary not being his father and all the other crap we deal with Rylee. He does not ever say a word to her, and so me, Zach, and Brienna are the ones that suffer.

Just had to get this out in my online therapy session because I hate to fight with Gary about it. I know that it is was hard for him at first to only see Rylee on Wednesdays and every other weekend but he also understands that those are the consequences of divorce. This does not mean that he has to overcompensate for his lack of time with her by allowing her to act in this way and play it off on being tired!