rough day

Gary and I are in the midst of another tough battle with his ex-wife. There were some really inappropriate things said about me and my children last week that were posted on the internet, and then brought to my attention. That was the first time that I have actually seen Gary get furious with her in regards to something that she has said. He has since decided that he would like to limit her influence on Rylee and is pursuing 50% custody of their daughter. I am of course behind him 100%, but it troubles me because, as I have said before, she brainwashes this child into hating to come over here. Now we have actual proof because that was how the whole Cori bashing began was over a comment on how Rylee was so upset to have to come to her Dad's house that day. I am scared to think what it will be like to have Rylee here that often. Her mother has made her a very difficult child to be around, and yes I completely blame her for it. If I could even try to explain the way that I have seen her treat and speak to her mother any parent would have been appalled. She of course knows better then to speak and demand the same way over here, but according to his ex that makes me a horrible person. Why because she has more respect for me then she does her own mother? I would NEVER let me own children speak to me the way Rylee speaks to her, so why would I treat Rylee any different??

See the problem is that I know this is something that I am going to have to deal with for the next 20+ years. His ex comes from a divorced parenting situation, and her mother to this day 30 something years later is still VERY bitter about the whole situation. That is the hardest thing for me to imagine having to fight these battles with her over everything. It is my understanding that she blames me for the failure of their marriage, which is in fact so far from the truth. The stories that Gary would tell me very early on when we were nothing more then friends was amazing. He was very miserable in their marriage at that time, and I think when he saw me standing up for myself in my last marriage it gave him the strength to stand up for himself as well. I guess because eventually our friendship turned into more that it is the easy way out for her to say it was my fault then take blame for her own part in their marriage failing.

The whole point of this post is that I am really struggling in dealing with this. I know how I would like to handle it, but my head tells me that is not the "adult" thing to do. Plus I would never give her a reason to try and take Gary's time away from Rylee. I am lost at how I am going to handle the future. I have always considered myself to be a strong person, but this is really testing my patience. Joey and I don't have world's greatest relationship as a divorced couple, but I can tell you that I would love to see those two have the same relationship that we have now as well. Getting divorced was a good thing for Joey, it actually made him grow up in certain ways, and so he is much easier to deal with now.

I just keep having to remind myself that I am lucky to be in the relationship that I am in, and have the family that I have at this point in my life. This is a road block that will be put in my way a lot in the future and I have to always remember how to jump over it!