a new step for zach

After some more work with Zach's therapist together we decided to proceed with the testing for ADHD. She recommended that I make an appointment with a child psychiatrist. After I jumped through the insurance HMO hoops I was referred to one that was close to the house.

I came to this appointment prepared with statements from his therapist and occupational therapist. When I sat down with the doctor the first comment she made was about his small size. I confirmed that he was on the smaller side for his age, but nothing medically concerning. She asked me some questions about the problems we have been having, what his previous treatment has consisted of, and what we were looking to see happen. I explained all of the problems he has, and that he has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder but that I did not believe that was his main issue. The one thing that his weekly occupational therapist sessions can not change are his impulsive tendencies. She has helped him work through his "engine" level, which is getting Zach to realize when his "engine" is running too high for the situation. However his impulsiveness is his number one downfall. He doesn't have the ability to stop and think about something before he does anything which is what is always getting him in trouble.

The next thing she told me was that there was no medication "approved" for children under the age of 6. So I sat there and thought "Ok so we have to suffer through this for another year", and after a long pause she said but they did have one medicine that she could prescribe. She gave him the beginning dosage of Intuniv. It is a new medication that has only been released for ADHD as of November 2009.

That night I gave him his first pill, and the next day was hard for me. He was just not Zach. Granted he was much easier to handle, but he had absolutely no energy. It was almost sad. Zach can be a tough kid to handle from time to time, but to see him this way was just wrong. I did read all the warnings that the main side effect was drowsiness. This lasted for about a week, and then it seemed as if his body was getting used to the medication. After the "zombie" state wore off the typical impulsive Zach returned. He was on schedule to up the dosage as part of the original month of processing through his system. Of course with the change of dose came back the "zombie". However the worst part of all of this is the night terrors that have started. No one can tell me what part of the medication is causing this to happen, and it has been a very long few weeks dealing with it. On the one hand I am struggling with the hints of improvement that I am seeing, and but stricken with the side effects and wondering if it is worth it.

Zach of course has no recollection of these night terrors. They are by far the scariest thing I have dealt with as a parent yet. He is screaming and crying and calling out for me as I am standing right there. All of the research that I have done emphasizes not to wake them and gently guide them back to sleep. Some nights are manageable and others are awful with him having them 7-8 times per night. I think I have found that if he goes to bed by 8pm and takes a nap in the afternoon they are not as bad. I read that being overtired is usually a primary cause.

So this week my primary focus is to find him a new doctor to discuss the medication. I just did not get a great feeling from the first physchiatrist and would like to talk with someone who is going to work with me on this to find what is best for my little man.

I love him so much and so desperately want him to be able to have an easier time making friends. I want people to see the loveable HUGE hearted little boy that I see, and not a crazy nut that can't follow directions. This has been a very difficult struggle for me, and everyday I hope that I am making the right decisions for him and for our family. This is such a long road for him, and I want to make sure that I stand by him as the best support I can!

easter fun and lessons

We had a great time this year for Easter. Of course for me the most exciting part is getting the kids dressed in their Sunday best! My mom and I always have so much fun picking out the girl's dresses and then the boy's clothes to match.

It was not our weekend, so Joey brought Zach back early Sunday morning. I (or the Easter Bunny) had put together the baskets and they were waiting for them to tear through. We didn't get them a lot of stuff for their baskets because their main gift was the new Guinea Pig we named Sunny!

After Gary got home from picking up Rylee from her mom's house, Gary's parent's came over and we had our Easter egg hunt.

The lessons came after the kids were done opening their baskets, we had the Easter egg hunt, and they "found" the last giant egg with Sunny hiding inside. Rylee gave her usual "What else did you get me?" This was the same thing she did at Christmas time. Gary has had several conversations with his ex about this, and she has said that she has been working with Rylee on this same thing. It makes you feel like why bother getting her anything. She doesn't play with any thing you get and then seems upset that there is nothing else for her to open. Don't get me wrong we are just as much to blame for spoiling our kids. I really do try to do everything I can for them every chance we get, and so sometimes I think they both get used to having so much!

After we dropped Rylee back off we headed to my Aunt's house for the big family party. It was really nice to see everyone and it ended up being a beautiful day. We sat outside for the most of it, and watched the kids play with bubbles, have an easter egg hunt, and build things with spare wood from my Uncle's workshop.

zach's spring break

We were so lucky with nice weather pretty much every day of Zach's spring break. Monday we went to go see "How to Train Your Dragon". I thought it was really one of the better kid's movies that I have seen in a really long time. He talked about it a lot, which must have made Rylee want to see it because the following weekend she made her mom take her to go see it! He is of course now obsessed with everything dragons.

The next day we went with Holly and the kids (our neighbors from across the street) to Monkey Joes. This was a big hit because they have so many different bounce houses to go in. Zach ran around like a maniac for the first hour. Brienna was not as interested in jumping this time as she was when we went for her birthday, but the place was packed so I assume she didn't like all the people around her.

The next day we went to the zoo. It was a GREAT day for this and apparently everyone else in Chicagoland had the same idea. It took us an hour to get from the highway to the zoo parking lot which is only 3 miles. The kids toughed it out pretty well! Holly and I brought the wagon and one stroller. We thought that would be enough, but I did not count on Brienna wanting to stand in the wagon the whole time, and she did not count on Nolan not wanting to walk or ride and only be held. We went with a couple other moms from the subdivision and their kids as well. It was a bit stressfull trying to get through all of the attractions with all of us, but we made the best of it with a picnic outside and some ice cream at the end of the day. Always a favorite with the kids!

On Thursday we went on a playdate with my Mom's group to a park for a picnic and play. Again another wonderful day with the weather. Unfortunately Zach was on his first day of his new medication so he was really not motivated to play. (More about this in another blog) Brienna played great with the little boy that is the same age as her. This was a nice way to get together because the kids can play in a safe area and the moms get to socialize while playing at the same time.

Friday Mommy got a break and went to get her hair done and the kids played with the usual babysitter at the house. Overall it was a nice week spent doing fun things locally. Next year I think I am going to plan to do a camping trip, of course that all depends on the weather. Next year it will probably be 40 degrees and snowing!!

time gets away fast

Every day I tell myself that I need to get on here and update the blog. Of course as the weather gets nicer, our schedules get crazier. We try to spend as much time as we can outside with the kids because they love it so much. We have had a great spring so far with some really nice weather. Of course a couple weeks ago was Zach's spring break so we were not home much at all.

I will try to post all of the pics I have for Spring Break and Easter to get everyone caught up. First I have some pictures that are going to be very near and dear to my heart. A few weeks ago we went out to eat for my Grandma's birthday. She turned 85 which is amazing! She is the last grandparent I have left, and unfortunately seeing her reminds me how little time I spend with her. She lives about an hour or so away and so it is hard on the weekends to get out there. Not that is an excuse, but I try to enjoy my time with her whenever I get the opportunity. Zach absolutely loves her. When my mom was watching him when I was working they would go there quite a bit to have lunch, and he always had a fun time.

It is sad to wonder every year when we celebrate her birthday if she will be here another year. I have such fond memories of her and my grandpa as kids. They would come over for dinner every Sunday. We went on several family vacations with them. I know that she really misses my grandpa who died when I was a junior in high school, so it is comforting to know that she will be reunited with him.

I hope that some day my kids will look back at these pictures and remember her as their very affectionate "Big Nonnie"

Cara and her boyfriend Bill. These two are too too cute together.

Zach and my cousin Annie. She is going to make an awesome baby sitter in a couple years. She is great now, but only 12 and not sure she trusts her own instincts yet. Every time she is with my kids she is fantastic.