fun pics

Here are some recent pics that I have taken of the kids and haven't gotten a chance to share!

Rylee was so excited to have a matching shirt to her sister, and wanted me to take a picture of them together!

Mad because Daddy left her locked behind the gate...

Zach trying to take a picture of Mommy and Brienna.

Really need to get rid of this damn pacifier but she gets to be such a crank by the afternoon if she does not have it!

Zach's new favorite thing is to make stupid hand jesters when getting his pic taken. He thinks he looks so cool, wait until he is a teenager and I show him how "cool" he was!

Gary acting like a goof in the car...he is not a fan of getting his picture taken! Love you honey!!!

and my heart broke just a little

So these past couple weeks have been really really rough for me as a mother. I know that some people have the opinion that I don't have a clue when it comes to parenting siblings, but trust me not a one of those people have a CLUE what it is like to parent a child with Zach's kind of special needs and mix that with siblings who only see each other once a week and every other weekend. I grew up with an older brother and a yonger sister who was my shadow from the ages of 4-10, so I am FULLY aware of sibling rivalry. However, those issues of people voicing their clueless opinions has been dealt with. I had a very "nice" correspondence between myself and Gary's ex wife. I took up my issues with her friends and family "checking up" on me with her directly, and wanted to make sure that she was not concerned about Rylee when she is in my care. I am just like any other mother that stresses out about situations, but I use this venue as a way to vent my frustrations without taking them out on the kids.

My main concern in life right now really rests with Zach. His behavior is a great stress for me. I have been seeing a child behaviorist for the last 8 months. She had recommended that I have him tested for Sensory Integration Disorder, and I did. As a result of that he now sees a Occupational Therapist once a week for treatment of this disorder. It has certainly helped with the "ants in his pants" during school, but his overall behavior has not improved. For those that don't see him often it can appear as if he is an over active 5 year old boy, but trust me it is so much more then that. Very little disipline techniques work with Zach, everything new we try will work for a short period and then he is back to acting up. He is the kid running through the grocery store screaming, and jumping on shelves. I will literally have to go and grab him by the arms before he will focus his attention on me. A lot of what he does is situation and behavior inapporiate. So naturally people who don't know him or strangers in public look at me like I am a horrible mother. I am the parent of "that kid", the one nobody wants to play with because he is loud and doesn't know how to share or take turns properly. He is the kid who will tip over a board game because he is losing. The saddest part about all of this is that I know my son, and he has a heart of gold. He loves his sisters more then life, and can be the most sympathetic helper when I am not feeling well. However his special needs make him impulsive and unable to control his crazy behavior.

So this past week, I met with his behavior specialist and shared all of my concerns with this growing struggle hoping that she would be able to start working with him to get to the source. She said to me that she is beginning to think he needs to be tested for ADHD, and is begining to think that is what we are working with here. Now mind you that this was what I originally came to her about 8 months ago. Today Gary was reading the news online and found an article that I printed out about kids with ADHD, and Zach is EVERYTHING they listed under behavior traits. So now I am even more stressed thinking that if this is the case for him that most likely means that we are headed towards medication. I always said that I did not want to medicate him, but I seriously think that I am at a breaking point. I can not take another episode of him running through a store screaming for no reason, or having his teacher tell me that he was disruptive again in class.

I am trying so hard to be an advocate for Zach and let people know that he is really a good kid. As I was venting to the therapist last week, I started thinking of the family that has an appointment in the center at the same time as Zach that has a little girl with downs syndrome. It makes me think that things could be worse, and we could be struggling with that. But then I think, would that really be worse. This little girl is the sweetest thing and very friendly when I am sitting waiting. At least when her mother takes her in public people know she has special needs, my son is now labeled as special needs but it is not as obvious to people in public.

So when people tell me I am clueless, in a way they are right. I am clueless on how to move beyond this. I am clueless how to make the relationship between Zach and Rylee better because they don't understand each other because they are two totally different kids and Rylee can't possibly understand that her brother is not just being a pest but truely can't help himself. However, I am not clueless to know that what Gary and I are struggling with here means that we have to work harder as parents to be an advocate for Zach and work harder to "fix" a broken relationship between part time siblings.

big milestones

What a great weekend!! We had so much to do, and it all went off with out a problem. Friday we had Gary's parents over with their little cutie pup Cujo! This little 3 lb maltese/shitzu is the most adorable little guy. He definitely thinks that he is top dog, and certainly fits his name (or at least he thinks). We also had Holly and the kids over which was of course fun for the kids to play.


Saturday we went to the Fun Fair at the school behind us, which will be where Zach goes to Kindergarten next year. We went with Holly and the kids, as well as one of her friends who will have a kid in Zach's class next year as well. The kids had tons of fun playing games, and painting a pet rock. After we got back from there I had to take Zach to a birthday party for one of his preschool classmates. It was a construction themed party with dirt, sand, and rock piles for them to dig in. He of course had a blast getting dirty. After this party we came home and headed to a party at one of Gary's friend's house. The kids love to go here (especially Zach) because they have twin 5 year old boys which means lots of rough house play for him!


Sunday we hung around the house all morning. The time change meant I totally missed my workout class. I thought my clock changed automatically, but apparently that is the clock on Gary's side of the bed! We ran some errands, and then came back to play outside. We decided to take the training wheels off Zach's bike and let them practice riding on two wheels. Both of them took to it MUCH better then we expected. By the end of the afternoon they were both able to ride for a couple of seconds totally unassisted. We used Zach's bike because it is the smallest, and closer to the ground. Here is some video I took of each one....

After a couple hours of bike riding back and forth, all the kids went across the street to play on the swingset.

All in all it was such a fun weekend. I am so amazed at how well they both took to riding a bike. Hopefully Zach will pick it up quick because he really wants a bigger bike for his birthday, and I promised him he could get one if he could ride on the two wheels.

zach's allowance dilemma

We have started a new system with Zach. He has a chore chart that involves simple chores. Feeding the dog, helping pick up dog poop, putting away clean clothes, and helping to make his bed. For every time he does a chore he earns a respected amount of allowance for that chore. For example he gets $0.50 for feeding Mia, he of course earns more for picking up poop in the back yard.

Last week we went to Target to pick out a birthday gift for his friend's birthday party he had this past weekend and of course we had the usual conversation about him wanting to pick out a toy for himself. We began the early math lesson of what he had earned in allowance and how much things cost. Since we had just started this process he had only earned $3.00 in allowance that week. He wanted a new Monster Truck, and I explained to him that he needed $2.00 more for that. I explained to him that he could wait until next week and earn more allowance and get the monster truck. Of course he was not going to save his money and he wanted to know what he could get today.

He decided on 3 Hot Wheels cars each costing $.97 each. It was a great idea that I picked up from a Mommy Blog that I read. It is a great math lesson for him, and he gets the benefit of learning the responsibility of earning his own toys. Bonus is that it takes out the fight at the store that he wants a new toy.

He really enjoys helping around the house, and it is neat to watch him attempt to do "big people jobs" as he calls them!

brienna's first haircut

I was really getting tired of the mullet she had going on so it was finally time to get the trim she so desperately needed. We took her to Cool Kuts in the Algonquin Commons. She sat in a Fire Engine so her Papa could have a picture of her in the Engine! She did really well and sat and played with the car while watching her favorite, Dora. It isn't a real drastic change, but I can definitely tell. It is not as long and chopped in the front and the back has some layers so that it will grow more evenly.

The best part of going there was the hair gel we got for Zach. They had blue gell called "Zach's Wax". He was so excited when we picked him up on Sunday, and can't wait for his hair to be long enough again to put it into a mohawk (the last time he got it cut the girl went a little crazy with the clippers and it is waaaay short on top now).

This was the old man comb over that her father gave her before we went.

The finished product, again not a big change, but no longer a mullet so Mommy was happy!

please get the hint

I know that "certain people" are still reading my blog which is extremely annoying. I was truely hoping that by letting you know that I could see EVERY time you checked it that would mean that you would move on with your life. Feel free to comment this time on what you find so interesting about my life, because I am extremely curious now. Are you mad that I have blocked my Facebook page so that you can't go "see" what is going on with my life on there? Whatever the reason I am telling you to please loose this web site from your list, and leave me and my family alone. The funny thing is that it had stopped for a few days so I really thought that you had gotten the hint, but aparently I was giving you way too much credit. Go focus on your own lives, and please stay the hell out of mine.

How would you feel if you knew that I could check up on you and what was going on in your life whenever I felt compelled. I am sure that you would be just as annoyed. So take this as a hint in case you didn't the first time. I can still see that you are checking up on me, and would really appreciate it if you would take your time and energy somewhere else, perhaps working on your own life and relationships would be more productive then worrying about mine.

our weekend

We had a fairly productive weekend getting things done at home. I am really looking forward to the weather warming up so that we can get outside more with the kids. They tend to get a little out of control being stuck in the house all the time, and with all the nasty germs going around I think twice about taking them to public play areas.

Of course the weekend started off on a "fun" note with Rylee coming over on Friday. Let me tell you this almost six year old little girl is developing an almost sixteen year old attitude. She of course takes out most of that attitude with Zach. Her new thing is trying to tell him what to do, which of course does not go over well with Zach and usually results in him doing things to purposely annoy her. This will almost always end with her throwing herself around crying because he will not leave her alone. At this point my answer is to shut off the tv and force them to either play with each other or sit alone in an empty room bored staring at each other. I really wish she would put more effort into playing with him, but she really would rather just sit on a couch staring at a wall, it is extremely sad for Zach because he doesn't understand why.

Saturday we went to my cousins wedding. Brienna must be working on some teeth because for the last few days she has been a crab. Saturday was certainly no exception. She had little tolerance for sitting through the ceremony, and then waiting for dinner to be served. The older ones had fun dancing for a little bit, and it was of course great to see the extended family.

I know it is sad to say, but by Sunday nights on the weekends we have all the kids I really look forward to going back to normal life. Things are so much more strained when Rylee is here because of her attitude lately. I know that Gary feels it too, I just wish it did not have to be like this but for the time being it is just something we have to endure.