a great big step forward

I have been struggling with Zach for every bit of a year and a half now. This child was an awesome toddler, and then his 3rd birthday came and I swear overnight he became a different child. I used to joke about how I didn't have to deal with the terrible twos, and boy did I have to eat my words. The irony of the situation is that I left Joey immediately after Zach's first birthday, so his whole second year of life was very up and down but he seemed to handle it all like a champ. At first I thought it was a delayed reaction, but when we moved in with Gary shortly after his 3rd birthday I figured things would calm down as he acclimated himself to his new surroundings. When Zach started preschool last year he had a real hard time getting used to a classroom setting. He wasn't (and still isn't) much for sitting still so it became apparent to me that something else was going on. All the research I did for myself pointed toward ADHD (which his father has) but I was told by everyone that it was impossible to diagnosis in a child of this age. His pediatrician told me that it was possible that he might have struggles with this as he approached 2nd or 3rd grade but we could deal with it then. I thought this was ludicrous. Why couldn't I catch it early and start giving him ways to work with it instead of setting him up to fail. His doctor referred us to a child counselor who began working with me and Zach on a weekly basis. This woman has been a God send for me. She has given me different ways of "dealing" with Zach that have helped tremendously. She was the one who suggested that I look into having him evaluated for Sensory Integration disorder. At first when I researched it I didn't think it fit. Most of the stories I read were about children fighting with sensitivity to clothing and bright lighting. However as I read more, I found a section that often is misdiagnosed as ADHD. Zach's biggest problem was always in new or busy situations. He would start to act wild, crazy, and often inappropriate bouncing into things, playing rough with other kids, and unable to calm down. You could literally be standing two steps from him yelling "Zach calm down" and it was like he was deaf.

I requested the referral from his pediatrican for an Occupational Therapist evaluation for Sensory Integration disorder shortly after the summer of last year. (Perhaps at a later time I can complain about how much I LOVE HMOs sometimes). So after I received the referral to Easter Seals in Elgin I started their very lengthy paperwork process. I finally got everything done and last week he went in for his evaluation. The therapist was not with us 10 minutes and already began witnessing my concerns as Zach ran around the room crashing into everything. She talked to me for a half hour about my concerns and then a half hour working with Zach. After she was done she brought me back in the room and and told me that she observed him showing signs of trouble with his touch and some auditory sensors. She explained it as his brain seeking the jolt of pushing or rushing into something to help him process his surroundings. The hearing (or lack there of) is a result of being over stimulated and his brain almost blocking the sense to process other things. She is going to recommend him for continuous therapy which is going to be an outlet for him to work on these things and learn how to process the things going on around him.

I know it may seem silly but I felt like I had a name for this for Zach's sake. I was so tired of people that didn't know him looking at him like he was "that kid". Zach is the most sincere and big hearted child I know. He would give anyone the shirt off his back if he thought it would make them feel better. He tries so hard to please people which is why I knew that his behavior issues were something beyond his control.

These are a couple of my favorite pictures from my apartment in Huntley. He was such a fun toddler and we had so much fun just the two of us!!

oh the things people say

So the day before yesterday Gary had a conversation with an old friend of his. This is the one that is having a baby any day with his girlfriend that Gary's ex really tried to compare to us. Anyway, he called Gary about something and so they of course spent a half hour catching up. Well, Gary said he sat there and let him spew out a bunch of bullshit out of his mouth. However in this conversation he proved my point about how ridiculous it was for us to be compared to them. He said to Gary that a lot of people think that her getting pregnant was an accident, but in fact they had talked about it and both agreed that they wanted another child. REALLY?!?! She already has four kids from her first marriage and can barely afford to take care of them because supposedly their father is not involved, and he sees his daughter when ever it doesn't interfere with his gambling and social life. As much as I would not trade anything for Brienna, there was definitely never a conversation about in which we decided it was an appropriate time to have another child. He than told Gary that he was trying to out do him...on what being a total moron because trust me you have him beat there.

I consider myself to be a very understanding person. I will always give people the benefit of a doubt, but this guy has literally lost his common sense in life. From the first day I met him I knew that he was a huge story teller. I just don't understand why you would waste time trying to make someone believe something that is just plain crap.

He had to call me as soon as they got off the phone. I think that I laughed the whole time he was retelling the conversation. It really just confirmed to me how ridiculous this whole debacle is and glad that we are in "our own little world" living a completely different life then where we came from.

fun times had by all

We had our wine tasting party this weekend, and it was a bunch of fun. I learned a lot about wines and how to actually taste the different flavors. As usual I was not a big fan of the reds, but did find a couple different whites that I liked. The size of the party was perfect with about 15 people, and it was nice because over half of them were neighbors so I didn't have to worry about a lot of people driving home.

Everyone ordered something from the consultant so that means my wine will be discounted which was exciting news for me! I found this great Moscato that was probably the best wine I have ever tasted. I ordered 3 bottles of that and some great accessories. I will definitely have to send some of this to you Jamie whenever I get around to actually getting your Christmas presents in the mail too! You will enjoy this after the girls go to bed and you just need to relax with a glass of wine...which for me is pretty much all the time :)

Doug, Holly, and Gwen stayed until 11pm and me and Holly shared two bottles of wine so we were pretty done for. With Brienna at Gary's parents house I was actually able to sleep until 10am this morning. I can not remember the last time that happened. Of course then me, Gary, Doug, Holly, and Gwen went for some great hangover breakfast this morning. Doug and Holly's kids were at the grandparents as well so it was a nice peaceful breakfast for all of us!

After we picked up Brienna, Gary began putting up the last bit of trim in the basement for the carpet that is being installed tomorrow. I can not wait!!! We have had the basement in use able condition for a year or so now. However at the time we didn't want to spend the money on flooring for the rest of the basement. He did the wood floors in the office so we could put our office together, but for the rest of the basement we just painted the floors and put large carpet remnants down. As Brienna started to crawl around we spent less time down there because it was cold for her to crawl around on the hard floors. Everything is going to look so different tomorrow after it is done. I will definitely post pictures after we get everything put back together. After tax time I think we are going to look for a good sectional and the basement will be completely done!!!

11 months old

Today Brienna is officially 1 month away from being one. I seriously can not believe that an entire year has passed by. This time last year I was counting down the days until my due date. Now here we are and she is getting bigger by the day. She is real real close to walking and has even taken a few steps. She says hi, bye, doggie, mom, and dada. She is the most loveable little girl and smiles at anyone she meets. She has finally gotten her two top teeth and is about to ge the two next to them on each side. She is in dire need of a hair cut since her hair more resembles a mullet now, but I think I will wait until just before her birthday to do that.

I could go on and on about all the wonderful things she does. She is so much more to me then my second born child. She has literally been my saving grace over the past year. In all the rough times she is always the one shinning light that I have. She is the first face I see every morning smiling, and I wouldn't change anything about her or the unexpected surprise of having her!

I know that I will be a huge emotional mess next month when she turns one, but I look forward to her growing into the sweet loveable little girl I know she will be!

the long weekend

Since we had all the kids from Thursday afternoon through Sunday by the end of the weekend I think every one's nerves were shot!!! For some reason Rylee was much more of a "princess" then usual. She spent most of the weekend playing her DS which was fine by me because when she was doing that there was no crying involved, and trust me she cried over EVERYTHING else! She hasn't been like that in a while. Gary thinks it was because she was off her schedule from being off school, but if anything I would think that would make her more rested since she was able to sleep in everyday. By Sunday Gary was truly fed up with her behavior. It takes A LOT for Gary to get mad enough to yell at the kids, but he had to walk away from her during one of her crazy fits because she was just acting like a tantrum throwing 2 year old. Between this and her behavior at Christmas with the obsession over gifts he was pretty upset. We talked about it on Sunday night and I kept having to remind him that he is only responsible for about 30% of her behavior. Everything else comes from the time she spends with her mom and that side of the family. She spent almost a week here before Christmas and was fine, then 5 days later she is a mess. Peronally I have given up on trying to change any of it. If there has been one thing that I have learned these last few months is that I have much bigger problems to worry about then what sets Rylee off. I keep telling Gary that if he would ignore the behavior it would go away faster since that is what she is wanting is a response.

On Friday we had to take an hour and a half drive to almost Plainfield to take Zach to the doctor. We thought he had pink eye, and since it was New Year's Day his regular Pediatrian was closed and so I had to take him to the Urgent Care for our medical group. The doctor was not very knowledgeable about eye infections obviously, but I left with a perscription for eye drops. Of course there was not a single Walgreens open from Naperville to our house so I waited to fill it until the next morning. However the next morning he woke up with a really bad sore throat. I called the nurse and she said the eye issue was most likely a prelude to being sick with a cold. Sure enough with out the eye drops his eye cleared up by the end of the day on Saturday.

Since it was literally 2 degrees outside we spent almost the whole weekend inside which of course added to the chaos around the house. The kids have thousands of dollars worth of toys in the basement and all they want to do is cause problems and play with Brienna's toys by the TV. I was very glad when the weekend was over and we could go back to life as normal.

new year's eve

We had wanted to take the kids back to the indoor water park this year for New Year's Eve, and get some of the neighbors to go so the kids would have friends to play with. The closer it got to the time to book the hotel, the more apparent it was that it was not a good time to spend that kind of money for any of us. So we decided to have them over at our house. The kids had a great time playing in the basement, and the adults got some quite time to chat upstairs. By the time 10:30pm rolled around the kids were starting to get very crazy which signified that they were overtired. We decided to celebrate at 11:00pm with New York so the kids could blow the horns and noise makers and still get in bed. By the time the neighbors left one of the little boys was falling asleep standing up. Brienna made it until 9:00pm which is a record for her. Thankfully everyone slept in the next morning to give Gary & I time to recover a little.

2009 was a good year for us. Other then some money struggles, I really couldn't ask for anything better out of 2010. We had a baby, got married, and made it through some tight spots for work all the while our relationship became stronger then ever. Here's to hoping 2010 is at least as good as this past year!!

the 12 days of christmas

So finally the Holidays are over, and although I look forward to them so much every year I am equally glad when they are done and life can return to normal. We had a lot of fun with the kids the week before Christmas came, and then the kid shuffle began. Since it was not our year to have the older kids and it was going into a weekend that was not our weekend I had to get creative with Zach's gifts. We made a big deal the night before Christmas Eve and made cookies for Santa and left him a note from the kids. He brought all of Zach's presents to open the morning of Christmas Eve. Rylee was going to be at our house for a couple hours Christmas morning so we knew that Santa could come for her on Christmas morning. Zach was thrilled with all his presents, and although I did not plan it to happen this way he opened to two things he wanted most, Buzz Lightyear and Woody, last.

We also let the kids open their gifts from us, and Gary's parents came over so they could see the kids open their gifts as well since this would be the last time we would all be together for Christmas. Brienna got her first ride on toy, and was fascinated by it!

That night we met my family for dinner at Biaggi's. It was nice, a lot of food, wine, and typical Nixon family antics. All of my brother's kids were excited to go home and get ready for presents in the morning. Christmas is a lot different for Gary & I on these years when we don't have the kids on Christmas morning. The holidays are really the only time that it truely sucks being divorced with all the schedules to keep track of, not to mention trying to not duplicate gifts

which is hard to do at this age since they tell everyone that they want the same things.

Although this year we were thankful most for Brienna. We enjoying having the family together as much as possible, but it is nice to give her special time with out the chaos. We decided to put together a good portion of her presents since they had more effect on her put together then looking at a box. We took her downstairs in the morning and she immediately went to her Fisher Price house and was so excited she bounced up and down when she stood up next to it. It was so cute!!! We picked up Rylee around 9am and brought her to the house to open her Santa gifts. That was a pretty ridiculous display. Everything she opened she looked at and threw to the side to get to the next one. We made sure that we got her everything that she told us she wanted, except for the Nintendo DS because we didn't want to spend that kind of money of each of them this year because of course we would have had to buy one for each. It became very obvious when she was done and said "is that it?" that she is very centered around presents at this time of year. All she talked about was the pile of presents she was going to have at her "Nonie's"house and asked when her mom was going to come get her. It was very sad for Gary, he was very disappointed that she was not more grateful for all her gifts.

The evening of Christmas day we had Gary parents over and had a nice time relaxing and watching old Christmas movies on TV. Then we had my family back over on Sunday to exchange gifts. Since we didn't have the older two on Christmas Eve we all decided to wait so that everyone could be there when we exchanged gifts.

All in all it was a terrific Christmas. Of course it was memorable because it was Brienna's first, but every year that the kids are another year older the more fun it gets as they play along with all of the fantasy of Christmas!